TATEMAE - FALSE FRONT - KIBUN

Tatemae is a Japanese word that is rarely used, but is understood by all. Kibun is the equivalent in the Korean language. In the Western world, it seems there is not one particular word to describe a “false front,” except for the word “mask.”

I am sure no one reading this has ever put up a front to appear fine, when in all actuality there was nothing fine about you at that moment. If you were asked, “How are you doing?” your reply was, “Fine, thank you.”

On the other hand, there are times when people dislike someone very much. When they come into your presence, you act friendly, as though everything is fine. There are some people, who have the ability to plan your murder, but take you to dinner first.

It seems that we live day by day taking each other at “face value”. Everything looks good, sounds good, so it must be good. With all the smiles, there are no worries like everyone else has.

I have learned through the years to look through and past smiles. I always look at eyes to see what is really going on in a person’s life. My husband has always told me that I could never be a good liar, robber or murderer because my eyes would completely give me away without me saying one word.

Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder what “your eyes” are really telling other people? Yes, ladies can cover up their eyes with various kinds of make-up, but the eye itself still tells the story.

I was thinking the other day how the pictures that have been posted show only smiles and happiness. I thought, “WOW! No one has ANY IDEA what a battle that is being waged in the heavenlies. What faith is being required in our lives in recent months. In the past couple months, apparently God decided that our faith, after these decades of tests and trials, just needed to have further testing. I guess one main characteristic of an old, seasoned warrior is being able to wage major warfare, yet while standing in the middle of the battle, and STILL HAVE JOY and KNOW VICTORY IS SURE!!!

In almost 43 years of marriage and ministry, we have never faced such a time as this, yet the JOY of the Lord gives me strength each day. We have never missed a rent payment in almost 43 years until now. Yet the song says, LIVING BY FAITH. I am often reminded of the promises God has spoken directly to me, “Sharon, I will never leave you and Dan. You will never do without. You will never lack.” I must confess I have said a few times during the past month, “Excuse me, Father. Is our rent not a lack?”

I choose to be blessed instead of stressed. Jesus is our banker. He is Jehovah Jireh. He is Jehovah Shalom. As the children’s song says, “Why worry, when you can pray. Trust Jesus, He’ll show the way. Don’t be a doubting Thomas. Rest fully on His promise. Why worry, worry, worry, worry, when you can pray?”

I choose to say that I am fine, because I am resting fully in His promises and I know that He has my back so I will not fall or fail. It would be very easy to say, “There is just no way we can continue to live here with insufficient income.” One missionary family working with us years ago, returned to the states, because they were concerned they were losing “too much” in their bank savings in the states due to exchange rates. We could say, “Excuse me, Father, don’t You think it is time for us to retire and just settle down in the states?”

I love what one of the definitions of the word trust is in the Amplified Bible. First, let us look at what KJV says in Psalm 22:8. “He trusted on the LORD [that] he would deliver him.” Amplified Bible is taken from Hebrew, which says, “He trusted and rolled himself on the Lord, that He would deliver him.” It seems nowadays, we never think of “rolling ourselves on the Lord,” literally trusting Him no matter what. Do we dare be so radical to trust God to that extent? Probably the first people to criticize would be fellow Christians, but don’t ask them when they last trusted the Lord for something.

If I love the Lord, trust Him to the point of rolling my WHOLE LIFE on Him, then I guess I better say, “You know what? Though the storms rage, and the winds blow, I trust You, for You are the Peace Maker of the storm. When You, Lord, are my pilot, You will deliver me to the other side.”

Please look at my eyes and tell me, that you see life everlasting and joy unspeakable and full of glory. If you see something that is negative, dark or hidden in my eyes, then please pray for me. Reach out to me with loving arms. I will do the same with you. Many times I have been face to face with precious people through the years, and hesitated to say what I was seeing behind their “tatemae.” I never had another chance to reach out to them. Time is too short to let loved ones, friends and acquaintances slip past us.

The greatest deception is to look at someone and disregard what God is showing you or telling you because of their name or position. Maybe they are older than you and have been a Christian many, many more years than you. Guess what? That person is human, the same as you. Their tests are tougher than yours because they have been a Christian longer, so they are tested in the level where they are in the Word and in knowing Him.

Next time you shake hands with someone in church, look in their eyes and see with your heart, not with your reasoning. BUT remember, what are they seeing when they look into your eyes?

LIFE'S SPLIT-SECOND FLASHES!

Despite my age, I have learned the need to be extremely flexible and speak or move in a split-second. If I were a person who had to think or talk about things before speaking or moving, well, I can’t imagine what I would have missed.

This past week seemed to be filled with such split-second flashes. For years we followed “traditional” methods and ways, but have finally learned that it is those “split-second” or unexpected moments that bring the changes. Looking back in the history of this nation and the multitudes of missionaries that have come and gone, the question arises: Why is there less than one percent of Christians? There is no criticism or fault finding for any of the marvelous work done by forerunners, but just wondering.

Missionary friends who lived here for several decades were still thrilled to have three people attend their Sunday service. They had a building; taught English classes; taught Bible studies; taught cooking classes and did home-schooling, allowing other students to join in. They knew many people in the area and were extremely in the language. Many times I have asked myself, “Why were they so thankful and pleased to have three attend their service on Sundays?” After all the years of work, they were still thankful that “three” came.

After being missionaries before in Korea, we knew all the do’s and don’ts of what we must do, so we set out to work over thirty years ago. Volunteer mission workers came and went. Ministers with every kind of credential came and went, yet here we stand with very little to show for all that had been done. Buildings, apartments, houses, vacation Bible schools, camps for children, families, weekends, a day, or English camps; youth meetings, children events, home stay groups, just to mention a few, were all ways of reaching out to people here. Many times, they were carried out with every detail fulfilled.

Praying, fasting, crying, singing, praising, and worshiping didn’t seem to move the mountains until recently. This past week was amazing. The previous Saturday we had helped move one of the gals to the other side of the city to live with some friends she had evangelized and won to the Lord. As we walked into their condominium, the mother was meeting Dan for the first time. She kept saying how she felt something warm inside her heart meeting Dan and me that day. She asked us to please come back and before we left, she and Dan talked about us coming to have Bible studies in their home. She said that she wants to be a 100% Christian. She said that she needs to ask some questions before she can be 100%. She is so excited about the Lord.

Monday a couple visited our home and there was such openness, heart-to-heart talking. They are beautiful young Christians and want to serve the Lord with all their hearts. They felt they needed to come and ask for counsel and prayer. Tuesday brought other opportunities with individuals. Thursday was a day of breakthrough in someone’s life that was very bound by the enemy. In the midst of having Gals’ Day with some young ladies, the Lord opened the door in a “SPLIT-SECOND” and I was able to do counseling with them. We were all four shocked how fast it happened. What a “life-changing” moment.

Friday brought two of the young ladies for discipleship training class in the evening, but suddenly the Lord changed what we were studying and took it into depths we never dreamed. They both spent the night after we stopped about 12:30 a.m.

Saturday morning seemed normal preparing breakfast for the gals. One was due to spend time with one of the gals that has been devastated and closed off for several months. Oh how we have missed her and how we have all been praying and fasting on her behalf. Suddenly she wanted to meet with one. The other one and I decided to drive up the mountain to a waterfall.

After awhile we went back to pick up the second one for a counseling session with yet another lady. Suddenly something changed, because this lady couldn’t come. Then one of those “split-second” flashes came for us three to go pick up the other person met in the morning and take her to a mountain top. What a crazy idea! We called and she was willing. But…wait a minute…all of a sudden the counselee was coming through the gate. What shall we do???

When she came in, we knew she was not having a good day. We asked her if she would like for us to pray together and not have counseling that day since she had a bad morning. She smiled and said that would be good. We had quite a time of prayer, to the point a neighbor slammed their windows and door shut. We weren’t so loud, but they apparently didn’t like hearing the name of Jesus. After we hugged her and talked some, she returned home.

We three went to pick up the one we had been praying for during these past months. We four stopped by another young ladies’ beauty shop. Two of us sat in the car, while two went in to say hi and give something to her. The lady, her baby, her mother and nephew were all there with her, so our two gals had prayer with all of them there in the beauty shop. They were so happy that we had stopped by and they had prayer with them.

We began driving to where He had inspired us to go, to the top of the mountain. Our precious gal, who had been in such pain and sadness, had been living in a “valley”. Suddenly the Lord told me why He directed us to pick her up and go to the top of the mountain. He said, “She has been in the valley and now it is time for you three to take her to the “top of the mountain”. We laughed and talked together.

Two of them had never been to this place. It was quite a drive up the mountain, besides the fact of passing many, many, many different gods on the way. Those places were extremely dark and full of death and sadness. It seemed the further we climbed, the more laughter took place. By the time we reached the top, it was breath taking. We got out of the car and there we stood in the beauty of the mountains and the ocean. We could see all of Fukuoka City (1.5 million) and other surrounding towns. What a sight to behold!

We took pictures, talked, laughed more, and then I said, “Do you know what I’d like to do more than anything?” They couldn’t imagine. “See that spot on the grass there? I’d love to just go sit down and then lie down and look up at the sky.” The three jumped up at the suggestion and we four were lying on the side of the mountain on the grass looking up at the beautiful blue sky with small clouds passing over. What beauty!!!

Do you know what? We didn’t have a service. We didn’t sing any songs. We didn’t preach or teach any Bible verses. But that day we had a “breakthrough”. God’s love consumed our precious sister and she has been restored back into our midst.

After we took her home, the three of us returned to our house. Dan joined us to hear the good things of what God had done that day. As we joined hands to pray, I could do nothing but cry thinking of each one God had done such marvelous things in throughout the week.

We are constantly reminded that Jesus went to “where the people were”. He healed them “where they were”. He didn’t tell them to “come here or there to meet Him”. His three years of ministry were filled with “split-second flashes” or “split-second changes”. So often the Word that He left this town headed for that town, and “on the way” different healings and deliverances happened. His days, journeys and plans were interrupted by an individual in need. He healed them and delivered them. If He had been consumed with focusing one building or location, probably most of the miracles would have never happened, because He would not have “been on His way” to some place.

Split-second flashes! Split-second changes! Split-second happenings! I am hungering and desiring ALL that God wants to do – whenever, wherever, however He wants. No more traditions, methods, or talk trying to figure out how and what to do. I Corinthians 4:20 shows us so very clearly that God’s kingdom is only of power, not of talk. As the song says, I’ll say “Yes, Lord, Yes! to Your will and to Your way. I’ll say “Yes, Lord, Yes! I will trust You and obey. When Your Spirit speaks to me, with my whole heart, I’ll agree. And my answer will be, “Yes, Lord, Yes!”

Life's Craziness

As I looked at my last blog, it is hard to believe so much time has passed. When I wrote about my little friend, many wonderful things had been happening in his life. As anyone can see from the smiles, there was such love and happiness. Right after that wonderful time, in the same week, my father passed away, and his mother had something devastating happen. SAD??? Oh yes.

The saddest part of it all is that the happiness and love was rejected because of the happening. It seems that life is full of ups and downs. It is amazing how that many of us react in the same way - we blame God. We get upset and can only believe that God is the one responsible, so many people take their hurts, frustrations, and disappointments out on God. Did God change? Nope! Instead of realizing that there are many other factors in any situation, God gets blamed!

Being on the other side of the world, knowing that Mom was literally carrying the whole load by herself until others were able to get there, was a time I had to trust the Lord. God has never failed me yet though, so I didn't need to start now to worry.

I was sitting here in my little office, and suddenly felt compelled to call my Mom. She was sitting beside Dad's bedside in the nursing home. He was no longer eating, but was glad she was with him. As she and I were talking, she said, "Honey, do you want to say hi to your Dad?" Of course I did. She held the phone to his ear so he could hear from my voice.

"Hi, Dad. I love you! I miss you very much!" I could quietly hear him trying to respond to me, but I knew he couldn't talk at the moment, so I just kept talking. "Dad, I talked with Jesus and I told Him that I trust you into His care. I know that He knows what is best for you, so, Dad, it is okay for you to go with Him. Mom will be okay and I will be okay too. Dad, don't worry anymore about Mom. Jesus has her in His hands and He will take care of her. Now, Dad, I just want you to know how much that I really do love you. Thank you for all that you taught me. Thank you for teaching me how to throw a baseball and softball. Thank you for teaching me how to pass and kick a football. Thank you for teaching me how to shoot marbles and always win. And thanks for teaching me how to play checkers. Most of all and more than anything else, Dad, thank for teaching me to believe in Jesus. Thank you for every time you prayed for me when I got sick and you would always say, "You will be alright now." Even after I was married you still prayed and told me that. Dad, I really do miss your phone calls and you praying for me on the phone. I will really miss you, Dad, but it is okay. I release you, Dad, to go. I release you into Jesus' arms. Don't hold on any longer. Let Jesus take you to be where He is. I love you, Dad! I love you soooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, I started crying and my Dad heard me crying, which I believe was good. I didn't plan to cry or to say all of those things, but you know what, my Dad heard from his daughter's heart. In less than 24 hours, while my Mom and a hospice nurse were sitting in his room talking, Dad just left. Mom realized that he had stopped breathing. WOW! He finally left with Jesus. Peaceful? Oh yes. Comfort? Oh yes. Such love and peace consumed my Mom. No I wasn't at the funeral, but Mom and I talked several times by phone and I knew God was truly carrying her.

To my greatest surprise, God miraculously provided the way to go to the states 2 weeks later. My going to the states gave Mom something to look forward to. I knew that my going was not to try to move her, change this or that in her life, but just go be with her and love her. Going to McDonalds every morning and doing pretty much the same things was quite challenging for me, after my very busy schedule here, but to just sit together and enjoy each other's company was priceless.

Her birth certificate became a challenge when the one she had all her life was changed at the state office and they said, "That is final." SMILE!!! Well, that means her drivers license had to be updated. How crazy was that?

Worrying about money, God had told Mom many times in the past couples years, "I will provide. I will work things out." Well, she and I stood in the drivers license office and she looked at me saying, "Sharon, I don't know what I should do. I can wait till later, because I don't think I can afford to do this today." In front of the counter before the woman came to wait on Mom, I said, "Excuse me, Mom. What did you say that God told you?" She said, "I know, but......." I said, "Mom, there are NO BUTS to what God says. He knows what is going on and He will take care of you."

Just then, the lady came to ask her questions. She stated that it would cost $24.50. First the lady would need to call the state office to change everything, then she would process it. Mom looked at me and said, "Lord, Sharon, it is $24.50." I said, "Mom! What did He say?"

The lady came back and said, "Everything is taken care of in that office. Now lets get this done. Instead of $24.50, Mrs. Settles, it will only be $3.50 for you. Lets take your picture. Please step over this way." Mom's eyes bugged out as she passed me by. I said while snickering, "Excuse me, what did HEEEEEEEE say?" I wanted to laugh so hard, but I behaved myself till we got into the car.

When things in life seem to become the craziest ride, focus on the tree tops. Who knows, God might be there.