TATEMAE - FALSE FRONT - KIBUN

Tatemae is a Japanese word that is rarely used, but is understood by all. Kibun is the equivalent in the Korean language. In the Western world, it seems there is not one particular word to describe a “false front,” except for the word “mask.”

I am sure no one reading this has ever put up a front to appear fine, when in all actuality there was nothing fine about you at that moment. If you were asked, “How are you doing?” your reply was, “Fine, thank you.”

On the other hand, there are times when people dislike someone very much. When they come into your presence, you act friendly, as though everything is fine. There are some people, who have the ability to plan your murder, but take you to dinner first.

It seems that we live day by day taking each other at “face value”. Everything looks good, sounds good, so it must be good. With all the smiles, there are no worries like everyone else has.

I have learned through the years to look through and past smiles. I always look at eyes to see what is really going on in a person’s life. My husband has always told me that I could never be a good liar, robber or murderer because my eyes would completely give me away without me saying one word.

Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder what “your eyes” are really telling other people? Yes, ladies can cover up their eyes with various kinds of make-up, but the eye itself still tells the story.

I was thinking the other day how the pictures that have been posted show only smiles and happiness. I thought, “WOW! No one has ANY IDEA what a battle that is being waged in the heavenlies. What faith is being required in our lives in recent months. In the past couple months, apparently God decided that our faith, after these decades of tests and trials, just needed to have further testing. I guess one main characteristic of an old, seasoned warrior is being able to wage major warfare, yet while standing in the middle of the battle, and STILL HAVE JOY and KNOW VICTORY IS SURE!!!

In almost 43 years of marriage and ministry, we have never faced such a time as this, yet the JOY of the Lord gives me strength each day. We have never missed a rent payment in almost 43 years until now. Yet the song says, LIVING BY FAITH. I am often reminded of the promises God has spoken directly to me, “Sharon, I will never leave you and Dan. You will never do without. You will never lack.” I must confess I have said a few times during the past month, “Excuse me, Father. Is our rent not a lack?”

I choose to be blessed instead of stressed. Jesus is our banker. He is Jehovah Jireh. He is Jehovah Shalom. As the children’s song says, “Why worry, when you can pray. Trust Jesus, He’ll show the way. Don’t be a doubting Thomas. Rest fully on His promise. Why worry, worry, worry, worry, when you can pray?”

I choose to say that I am fine, because I am resting fully in His promises and I know that He has my back so I will not fall or fail. It would be very easy to say, “There is just no way we can continue to live here with insufficient income.” One missionary family working with us years ago, returned to the states, because they were concerned they were losing “too much” in their bank savings in the states due to exchange rates. We could say, “Excuse me, Father, don’t You think it is time for us to retire and just settle down in the states?”

I love what one of the definitions of the word trust is in the Amplified Bible. First, let us look at what KJV says in Psalm 22:8. “He trusted on the LORD [that] he would deliver him.” Amplified Bible is taken from Hebrew, which says, “He trusted and rolled himself on the Lord, that He would deliver him.” It seems nowadays, we never think of “rolling ourselves on the Lord,” literally trusting Him no matter what. Do we dare be so radical to trust God to that extent? Probably the first people to criticize would be fellow Christians, but don’t ask them when they last trusted the Lord for something.

If I love the Lord, trust Him to the point of rolling my WHOLE LIFE on Him, then I guess I better say, “You know what? Though the storms rage, and the winds blow, I trust You, for You are the Peace Maker of the storm. When You, Lord, are my pilot, You will deliver me to the other side.”

Please look at my eyes and tell me, that you see life everlasting and joy unspeakable and full of glory. If you see something that is negative, dark or hidden in my eyes, then please pray for me. Reach out to me with loving arms. I will do the same with you. Many times I have been face to face with precious people through the years, and hesitated to say what I was seeing behind their “tatemae.” I never had another chance to reach out to them. Time is too short to let loved ones, friends and acquaintances slip past us.

The greatest deception is to look at someone and disregard what God is showing you or telling you because of their name or position. Maybe they are older than you and have been a Christian many, many more years than you. Guess what? That person is human, the same as you. Their tests are tougher than yours because they have been a Christian longer, so they are tested in the level where they are in the Word and in knowing Him.

Next time you shake hands with someone in church, look in their eyes and see with your heart, not with your reasoning. BUT remember, what are they seeing when they look into your eyes?